Hey peeps,
Our new website located at http://www.genxyzproject.com/ is up and running! All GenXYZ Project posts will be placed on the new site going forward.
Thank you so much for your ongoing support. We love you!!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ, GenXYZ Junior, and Lil' GenXYZ
Monday, March 7, 2011
My Dating Dealbreaker
Imagine that you’re sitting across from someone you’re pretty excited about. You’re on date one or two, you think he/she is hot, you seem to have things in common. And then—cue the 80’s-slasher-flick music—you learn or see something about them that stops you dead in your tracks. You know that you might as well throw down your napkin, ask for the check, and go your separate ways, because it ain’t happening. In other words, you encounter a dating deal breaker.
We all have them. For GenXYZ, it’s when an otherwise attractive guy smiles to reveal a horrible Austin Powers-esque grill. For Gen XYZ Junior, it’s when a dude sends an email or text fraught with misspellings and grammatical errors. And for me, it’s when a guy reveals that his favorite bands are Nickelback, Creed, and Papa Roach. Gag.
I have a weird thing about music. I grew up listening to the best of 90’s alternative grunge/rock and learned to hate most of the generally auto-tuned, uninspiring, untalented, and commercialized musicians of the 2000’s. So I could never seriously entertain the idea of being with someone who would want to listen to Lil Wayne or Hinder whenever we were in the car together. I just think that the type of music you like says a lot about you as a person—whether you’re a party animal, laid-back, or simply conventional. It also indicates whether you have a creative bone in your body. I’ve always been drawn to creative types—it soothes my inner Zooey Deschanel-wannabe.
That’s why I knew I was in trouble when I met Sam. He has great taste in music (not to mention killer guitar skills). He liked some bands that were familiar to me—Radiohead, The Cure, Smashing Pumpkins, and Mazzy Star—but also introduced me to amazing bands that were obscure yet unpretentious, like Joy Division, Adorable, and my all-time favorite, Broken Social Scene. When he gave me a mixed CD with some of his favorite songs after about a month of dating, I stayed awake all night listening to it over and over. At that point I was an absolute goner. It may sound strange, but our shared love of music played a serious role in our relationship.
So if you have a six-figure salary, perfectly-chiseled abs, and hell, even if you’re reasonably nice and smart, but Linkin Park is currently playing on your iPod—well, let’s just say we’re better off as friends. That’s my weird dating deal breaker—what’s yours?
Catch ya later,
Lil’ Gen XYZ
Thursday, March 3, 2011
A Bachelor's Degree in Waiting Tables
I was looking at my planner today and realized something unsettling: I’m two months short of two year anniversary out of college. First thought: I feel old as shit. Second thought: Where the hell has all that time gone? When I think about it, I guess I’ve experienced a lot. I moved across the country and made new friends. I got engaged. I’ve had numerous jobs. But on the whole, the direction my life is as uncertain as it was the day I shook hands with the Dean in front of my beaming family and friends.
Today, at 4 PM, I’m going to change into a white men’s dress shirt with a vest and tie. I’m going to put on my black slacks and black shoes. Then I’m going to drive to the upscale steak and seafood restaurant where I work. I’ll polish some silverware, fold some napkins, and spend the rest of the night running food and talking about the wet aging process of our steaks. Let me tell you, this isn’t exactly what I pictured for myself.
I often soothe my wounded pride by reminding myself that being a waitress isn’t so bad. But whenever I have time to think, I find myself wondering about what the hell I’m doing. Grad school seems like the only sane option, but honestly, I’m not even that excited about it. I know that I should be grateful for what I have already: a great relationship, a loving and supportive family, and a handful of amazing friends. But it’s not enough. My lack of a clear career path feels like a huge gaping hole in my life—and ego.
It seems like I’m not the only one dealing with these enormous questions. All the friends I made in college and post-college are uncertain about their future, too, at least professionally. And I’m not just talking about 22 or 23-year-olds—I have four good friends (off the top of my head) between 25 and 30 who are lost, career-wise, as well. What is it about us? Why the uncertainty? Is this lack of a clear-cut career and the resulting identity crisis a commonplace experience—or is it unique to our generation and our society, at this precise moment in time?
Who knows the right answers to these questions. At the very least, I hope I hang up my damn server uniform soon, or I’m calling my alma mater and asking for my money back.
Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
16 & Pregnant Has Nothin' On This Mama
Outside of getting drunk a few nights ago, I've recently been on a bit of a health kick. After stumbling upon an article in Women's Health magazine, I realized that one thing I could do to improve my mind, body, and spirit was to start drinking more water. So, I started drinking water. A lot of water. So much that I felt like I was on my eighth month of pregnancy with triplets, which wasn't a big deal until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
As I looked at my water-swollen stomach, I couldn't help but think that if I ever get pregnant, this is what I would look like. And then I lost it. Pregnant?! No way. I just graduated college! Well, like seven years ago, but so what?! I'm only 28! Im too young! Well, by most standards, I'm getting a little old, but who's counting?! Pregnant, baby, diapers, noooooo!!!! I threw on sweat pants and practically fell out my front door trying to jog off my water baby. I came back from my jog with a smaller water baby, but my skin still crawling from the experience. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
To an extent, I am a commitment-phobe. I don't like living in one place or having one job position for too long. Along with moving a bunch comes a lack of commitment towards people, namely many old friends that I lose touch with once they're not within driving distance. And even though my boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years, we're nowhere closer to getting engaged, mostly because I'm not pushing for it like a lot of chicks my age. I sometimes feel like I'm the weird one because I'm fine with renting, not buying, living with my boyfriend, instead of living with my fiancé, being a bartender/aspiring entrepreneur instead of a manager or director, and having a rotating door of people in my life.
Maybe one day, I'll want to settle down and have all the things that everyone else seems to have, especially the cute baby/family pictures that everyone is posting on Facebook lately. But until then, back off Mom and Dad, don't judge Friends Who Have Taken A Different Path and Everyone please, let me do me for awhile longer.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
As I looked at my water-swollen stomach, I couldn't help but think that if I ever get pregnant, this is what I would look like. And then I lost it. Pregnant?! No way. I just graduated college! Well, like seven years ago, but so what?! I'm only 28! Im too young! Well, by most standards, I'm getting a little old, but who's counting?! Pregnant, baby, diapers, noooooo!!!! I threw on sweat pants and practically fell out my front door trying to jog off my water baby. I came back from my jog with a smaller water baby, but my skin still crawling from the experience. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
To an extent, I am a commitment-phobe. I don't like living in one place or having one job position for too long. Along with moving a bunch comes a lack of commitment towards people, namely many old friends that I lose touch with once they're not within driving distance. And even though my boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years, we're nowhere closer to getting engaged, mostly because I'm not pushing for it like a lot of chicks my age. I sometimes feel like I'm the weird one because I'm fine with renting, not buying, living with my boyfriend, instead of living with my fiancé, being a bartender/aspiring entrepreneur instead of a manager or director, and having a rotating door of people in my life.
Maybe one day, I'll want to settle down and have all the things that everyone else seems to have, especially the cute baby/family pictures that everyone is posting on Facebook lately. But until then, back off Mom and Dad, don't judge Friends Who Have Taken A Different Path and Everyone please, let me do me for awhile longer.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
If You Are 120lbs and Under, Please Go Away.
After carefully reviewing multiple locations, spaces, and prices, I narrowed my choices down to one. The ceilings were tall, the windows let in the cool ocean breeze, and depite the fact that the bathroom was a little crappy, everything felt right. Thankfully, the contract didn't take as long to fill out, which left me ample time to walk around at my soon-to-be-new-home, Shock Fitness. After working out in my last gym, which was located in the middle of Hollywood, it felt great to walk around a "real" gym, where the equipment is old school, the people looked normal, and everyone seemed to be there to...well...work out.
I was basking in my found-a-normal-new-gym glory when I turned the corner and ran into my workout nightmare; the real gym-goers of Shock Fitness. With each of their mats lined up side by side, I watched thirty tightly toned bodies gracefully dive into the Downward Dog position. As they pointed their perfectly manicured toes up and their perfectly combed ponytails back, I couldn't help but notice how perfect their asses looked in what seemed to be endless miles of spandex. I wondered if I could talk the membership guy into a return policy.
Back in the day, the gym used to be my Mecca. I could spend hours running on the treadmill listening to 90s alternative and attempting to lift weights wearing a crappy t-shirt drenched with sweat. The gym was a place that I could work out my frustrations and stress, and I never had to worry about wearing a matching spandex ensemble. Since moving to Cali, walking into a gym actually stresses me out. Everyone looks amazing with their perfectly gelled hair, flawless makeup, and shorts short enough to be worn at strip clubs. So, my question is where are all the real people? You know, the ones that actually need to go to the gym? Well, if they're anything like me, they are probably sitting at home, bemoaning the stupid gym, exercising their biceps by reaching into a bag of chips and wishing bathing suit season would come and go fast. In the meantime, if anyone feels like starting a normal-bodies-only gym, please let me know. I'll pay double for a membership!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
I was basking in my found-a-normal-new-gym glory when I turned the corner and ran into my workout nightmare; the real gym-goers of Shock Fitness. With each of their mats lined up side by side, I watched thirty tightly toned bodies gracefully dive into the Downward Dog position. As they pointed their perfectly manicured toes up and their perfectly combed ponytails back, I couldn't help but notice how perfect their asses looked in what seemed to be endless miles of spandex. I wondered if I could talk the membership guy into a return policy.
Back in the day, the gym used to be my Mecca. I could spend hours running on the treadmill listening to 90s alternative and attempting to lift weights wearing a crappy t-shirt drenched with sweat. The gym was a place that I could work out my frustrations and stress, and I never had to worry about wearing a matching spandex ensemble. Since moving to Cali, walking into a gym actually stresses me out. Everyone looks amazing with their perfectly gelled hair, flawless makeup, and shorts short enough to be worn at strip clubs. So, my question is where are all the real people? You know, the ones that actually need to go to the gym? Well, if they're anything like me, they are probably sitting at home, bemoaning the stupid gym, exercising their biceps by reaching into a bag of chips and wishing bathing suit season would come and go fast. In the meantime, if anyone feels like starting a normal-bodies-only gym, please let me know. I'll pay double for a membership!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Monday, February 28, 2011
GenXYZ Junior's Top 8 List on Love & Relationships
There are always the exceptions to the rule, however, for the majority of people, I have found that certain things hold true. In no particular order:
8. Looking or having a serious relationship in college spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R most of the time.
7. If you find yourself trying to change or "better" the person you are with, chances are, you're with the wrong person.
6. Physical chemistry is just as important as intellectual, spiritual and emotional chemistry with your partner. And they're all related.
5. It's 100% normal to find other men/women attractive even if you are in a healthy relationship. It's acting on it that's the problem.
4. You shouldn't expect one person to fulfill ALL your needs. That's what friends and family are for.
3. It's important to have a life outside of being "so and so"'s girlfriend/boyfriend.
2. Don't sell yourself short. The person you're with should have the main qualities you look for in a partner- don't settle for less, because you'll only end up doing both yourself and your partner an injustice.
1. Open yourself up to different types of people and new experiences. Assuming they have your core non-negotiables, date a little outside of your comfort zone. Worst case scenario: you'll have a good story to tell, best case, you may end up finding someone special.
From me to you...
Talk to ya later,
GenXYZ Junior
8. Looking or having a serious relationship in college spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R most of the time.
7. If you find yourself trying to change or "better" the person you are with, chances are, you're with the wrong person.
6. Physical chemistry is just as important as intellectual, spiritual and emotional chemistry with your partner. And they're all related.
5. It's 100% normal to find other men/women attractive even if you are in a healthy relationship. It's acting on it that's the problem.
4. You shouldn't expect one person to fulfill ALL your needs. That's what friends and family are for.
3. It's important to have a life outside of being "so and so"'s girlfriend/boyfriend.
2. Don't sell yourself short. The person you're with should have the main qualities you look for in a partner- don't settle for less, because you'll only end up doing both yourself and your partner an injustice.
1. Open yourself up to different types of people and new experiences. Assuming they have your core non-negotiables, date a little outside of your comfort zone. Worst case scenario: you'll have a good story to tell, best case, you may end up finding someone special.
From me to you...
Talk to ya later,
GenXYZ Junior
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Our-2-Sents: Your Dilemmas Answered in 2 Sentences...
Dear GenXYZ Project,
I'm a 24 year old girl in desperate need of your advice. I can't seem to hold down a job, boyfriend, or really anything for that matter. I thought life would begin after I graduated college, but ever since I finished school, things are more complicated/confusing than ever! How do I get things back on track?
~ Rachel, age 24, Los Angeles
Lil' GenXYZ: Rachel, check out our post "The Case Against College" as well as "Graduation from the Quarter Life Crisis". You're definitely not alone in what you're going through. In fact, you're more the rule than the exception - hang in there!
GenXYZ Junior: My advice is to set one goal for yourself every few months and work your rear off to acheive it. Don't set yourself up for failure, like making your goal "find the perfect career by my next birthday", rather choose something that's within reach. This will help you realize that you are capable of doing whatever you set your mind to and you'll find yourself along the way.
GenXYZ: Hmm, have you been tested for ADHD? Adderall works wonders for those unable to hold down jobs. On a more serious note, stop whining and start doing something...anything. Your 20s are the time to try anything you want, screw up anything you want, then find what you want.
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible for any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
I'm a 24 year old girl in desperate need of your advice. I can't seem to hold down a job, boyfriend, or really anything for that matter. I thought life would begin after I graduated college, but ever since I finished school, things are more complicated/confusing than ever! How do I get things back on track?
~ Rachel, age 24, Los Angeles
Lil' GenXYZ: Rachel, check out our post "The Case Against College" as well as "Graduation from the Quarter Life Crisis". You're definitely not alone in what you're going through. In fact, you're more the rule than the exception - hang in there!
GenXYZ Junior: My advice is to set one goal for yourself every few months and work your rear off to acheive it. Don't set yourself up for failure, like making your goal "find the perfect career by my next birthday", rather choose something that's within reach. This will help you realize that you are capable of doing whatever you set your mind to and you'll find yourself along the way.
GenXYZ: Hmm, have you been tested for ADHD? Adderall works wonders for those unable to hold down jobs. On a more serious note, stop whining and start doing something...anything. Your 20s are the time to try anything you want, screw up anything you want, then find what you want.
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible for any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
To Eat Or Not To Eat, That Is The Question...
Every few weeks or so, I schedule in a therapy session with myself. In the session, I go through a mental checklist of things going on in my life that are making me happy and the things that are making me not-so-happy in an effort to make sure I'm working towards being the best me I can be. Today, I met with myself for a quick session ,which went a little something like this: Job? Manageable. Relationship? Good. Friendships? Getting better. Contributions towards humanity? Bought a bum lunch (not sure if that was a good contribuition considering I got him fast food). Weight? Exponentially increasing. Need to go on a diet asap. Therapy quickly came to an end as I realized my old nemisis, the additional 7lbs, was back.
It never ceases to amaze me how something as trivial as gaining some extra weight can make or break the way I feel about myself. Overall, I'm a pretty strong chick. I've overcome workplace harassment in too many jobs, ran a full 26.2 mile marathon, dealt with multiple breakups, and even camped at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a full week (like real camping, not the sissy outhouse kind). Sounds like nothing could knock me down, right? Unfortunately, I'm brought down to my knees (and not in a good way) everytime I step on the scale and see a number more than what I deem to be the perfect weight.
My relationship with food has never been normal, but can best be explained as this: when I'm miserable, I don't eat and when I'm happy, I eat down the house. My extra 7 lb body does not always fit into American society, especially when one lives in San Diego and bathing suit season is right around the corner. I'm hoping that some super smart person will build a time machine fast, so I can transport myself to the 14th century when plump women were considered hot just until the end of August. In the meantime, I suppose it wouldn't kill you guys to judge me on my thoughts, actions, personality, etc., rather than what size muffin top I have when trying to squeeze into my old jeans.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
It never ceases to amaze me how something as trivial as gaining some extra weight can make or break the way I feel about myself. Overall, I'm a pretty strong chick. I've overcome workplace harassment in too many jobs, ran a full 26.2 mile marathon, dealt with multiple breakups, and even camped at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a full week (like real camping, not the sissy outhouse kind). Sounds like nothing could knock me down, right? Unfortunately, I'm brought down to my knees (and not in a good way) everytime I step on the scale and see a number more than what I deem to be the perfect weight.
My relationship with food has never been normal, but can best be explained as this: when I'm miserable, I don't eat and when I'm happy, I eat down the house. My extra 7 lb body does not always fit into American society, especially when one lives in San Diego and bathing suit season is right around the corner. I'm hoping that some super smart person will build a time machine fast, so I can transport myself to the 14th century when plump women were considered hot just until the end of August. In the meantime, I suppose it wouldn't kill you guys to judge me on my thoughts, actions, personality, etc., rather than what size muffin top I have when trying to squeeze into my old jeans.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Monday, February 21, 2011
Are You A Jaded Dater?
Tonight I went out to dinner with a good friend of mine, Jane. Jane is a funny, pretty, up-front and tell-it-like-it-is sort of girl. She’s also my supreme resource for dating in the modern world, since I’ve been off the market for a while (see my last post) and Jane literally goes on two to three dates a week. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, so Jane brought me up to speed with her dating life. She started seeing this guy Adam about a week ago. They went on a couple of dates and had great chemistry and a lot of fun, she told me. But on date two, a lunch date, Jane made the mistake of asking Adam what he was up to that evening. “I have plans,” he told her. “I’m going on a date.“It made me feel like shit to hear that. I wasn’t happy,” Jane told me. But as we got further into the conversation, she admitted that she’d probably see him again. I voiced my disapproval (I personally thought this guy sounded like the penultimate douchebag), but she just shrugged nonchalantly. “Look…it’s been a week. We’re not exclusive and so I have no right to get mad at him. We have a great time together.”
“Sam and I weren’t seeing anyone else when we started dating,” I protested.
“Sam and I weren’t seeing anyone else when we started dating,” I protested.
“Yeah, some people only date one person at a time. But a lot of them date more than one person. It’s just the way it is nowadays,” she told me.
“If he has a great time with you, why does he need to keep seeing other people?” I persisted.
“When you’ve been at this dating thing as long as I have, it takes more than a week to decide if you want to see someone exclusively. You don’t normally talk about the fact that you’re seeing other people, but I asked what he was up to and I actually respect his honesty. At least I’m going into this whole thing with my eyes open.”
And that was that. It got me thinking that I really don’t understand the current state of the dating world as much as I thought I did. Am I right to think that it’s totally shitty to date multiple people at once? Or am I just naive? It just seems so disingenuous to have a great time with someone, to laugh at their jokes and ask them about their lives and kiss them at the end of the night, only to do the same thing with someone else—the very same day, no less. And yet Jane and many other girls I know seem totally unfazed by this dating multiple people practice, however much they dislike it.
We put up with “sort-of” quasi-relationships with blurry terms and commitments (or lack thereof). We have different people in our speed dials for different needs—the platonic friend when we need a date to a wedding, the friend-with-benefits when we’re feeling frisky or even lonely. And now it’s acceptable to take a different person out to dinner and a movie every night of the week. Maybe I’m overly picky, but being part of someone’s dating rotation doesn’t seem particularly appealing to me
Is it just me, or has our generation reached an all-time level high of dating jadedness? For all those lucky ones who emerge unscathed from the crazy dating circus with the right person, I hope all the crap you had to put up with makes the payoff that much sweeter.
Catch ya Later,
Lil' GenXYZ
Catch ya Later,
Lil' GenXYZ
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Oh baby baby it's a wild world, it's hard to get by just upon a smile
Well, ladies and gents, today's world is definitely a wild world: really, by anyone's standards. And most would agree, it is pretty hard to get by just upon a smile. The other day I was talking to a family member about some of the things that were stressing me out- and she gave me some great advice, to which the general gist of it was: sometimes, despite all the insanity going on in your life, you just have to put on a wide shit eating grin, and eventually that smile will catch up to you.
It amazes me how something as simple as putting on a fake grin can really affect your mood and general outlook throughout the day. It's even more amazing, and perhaps a bit sad, how uncommon this seems to be in today's world. Think about it: if you saw a random person standing in line at Starbucks or pumping their gas with a huge smile on their face, you'd probably do a double or triple take, thinking to yourself: "what's that crazy person on?" or perhaps, "where can I get some of that?!"
Yes, it's true that there are a lot of ups and downs in life, and, for me personally, I think experiencing both positive and negative emotions are fundamental to being human. However, I'd still take being happy over being worried, stressed, or sad any day of the week- so, today, if you happen to see a crazy happy looking girl walking around, stop by and say hello :)
Talk to you later,
GenXYZ Junior
It amazes me how something as simple as putting on a fake grin can really affect your mood and general outlook throughout the day. It's even more amazing, and perhaps a bit sad, how uncommon this seems to be in today's world. Think about it: if you saw a random person standing in line at Starbucks or pumping their gas with a huge smile on their face, you'd probably do a double or triple take, thinking to yourself: "what's that crazy person on?" or perhaps, "where can I get some of that?!"
Yes, it's true that there are a lot of ups and downs in life, and, for me personally, I think experiencing both positive and negative emotions are fundamental to being human. However, I'd still take being happy over being worried, stressed, or sad any day of the week- so, today, if you happen to see a crazy happy looking girl walking around, stop by and say hello :)
Talk to you later,
GenXYZ Junior
Friday, February 18, 2011
F-it, I'm Moving to Africa.
This morning, I had the pleasure of going to the dentist to get my pearly whites picked, prodded, and polished. I was in such a hurry to leave my house, I forgot to grab a respectable form of entertainment to keep me occupied while I waited. Unfortunately, by the time I got to the office, there were five people in front of me, which limited my entertainment choices to "Parent's Magazine," "People en Espanol," and "National Geographic." Yay.
As I flipped through NatGeo, I stumbled on a picture of a woman from an indigenous African tribe whose big smile took up half the page. I wondered to myself what the hell she was so happy about and soon found my answer in the subsequent article. Z* was committed to a man in her tribe that she would marry the next week. After the marriage ceremony, Z would move into her husband's hut, bear him children and raise them, take care of the hut, and continue to make the daily 5 mile trek that she had been making since she was age 6 to get fresh water for the tribe. Her mother, grandmother, and many ancestors before had led the exact same life. Simple. Happy. And not to mention, In Shape.
Now while I can say with absolute certainty that Z's life is definitely not for me (I'm sure I would get kicked out of the tribe in t minus 2 seconds after I told them to get their own damn water), there's something to be said about leading a simple, less option-laden life. I wonder what type of person I would be if I only had a few options for my career paths, friends, spouse, places to live, etc. Would I have the same smile that Z had if I knew what each day held for me?
I mused over this conundrum as I left the office and started to drive home. Just a few blocks from my house, I decided to stop for lunch and quickly found my answer. While Z didn't have to deal with the multiple career options I've had to and kiss all the frogs I kissed, while Z probably wasn't on anti-anxiety medication at the age of 23 like I was nor would she ever had to be, she was utterly fucked when it came to having life's more pleasureable choices. While I pondered over whether to get a burrito bowl at Chipotle or McDonalds #6 Super-Sized with Dr. Pepper, I knew that Z would probably only ever get to eat mystery meat stew. And that, my friends, made me realize the fact that in this option-crazy world, there are some decisions worth making.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
As I flipped through NatGeo, I stumbled on a picture of a woman from an indigenous African tribe whose big smile took up half the page. I wondered to myself what the hell she was so happy about and soon found my answer in the subsequent article. Z* was committed to a man in her tribe that she would marry the next week. After the marriage ceremony, Z would move into her husband's hut, bear him children and raise them, take care of the hut, and continue to make the daily 5 mile trek that she had been making since she was age 6 to get fresh water for the tribe. Her mother, grandmother, and many ancestors before had led the exact same life. Simple. Happy. And not to mention, In Shape.
Now while I can say with absolute certainty that Z's life is definitely not for me (I'm sure I would get kicked out of the tribe in t minus 2 seconds after I told them to get their own damn water), there's something to be said about leading a simple, less option-laden life. I wonder what type of person I would be if I only had a few options for my career paths, friends, spouse, places to live, etc. Would I have the same smile that Z had if I knew what each day held for me?
I mused over this conundrum as I left the office and started to drive home. Just a few blocks from my house, I decided to stop for lunch and quickly found my answer. While Z didn't have to deal with the multiple career options I've had to and kiss all the frogs I kissed, while Z probably wasn't on anti-anxiety medication at the age of 23 like I was nor would she ever had to be, she was utterly fucked when it came to having life's more pleasureable choices. While I pondered over whether to get a burrito bowl at Chipotle or McDonalds #6 Super-Sized with Dr. Pepper, I knew that Z would probably only ever get to eat mystery meat stew. And that, my friends, made me realize the fact that in this option-crazy world, there are some decisions worth making.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Getting Laid Is A Science, Not An Art.
A few days ago, I met up with a very dear friend I hadn't seen for quite awhile. On the surface, J is a fist pumping, spray tan loving, gym rat who parties like a rockstar. Underneath the Affliction t-shirts and massive amounts of hair gel, lies an incredibly smart guy who calls it like he sees it, perhaps even more so than me. As we sat down for drinks, I had barely scanned the first page of the menu when J looked at me and said "I've been reading your blog. You're in what I like to call 'Stage 3'...finally growing up." I opened my mouth to protest his unfair accusation, then quickly shut it. Growing up? Stage 3? This sounded kind of interesting. I had to hear more.
Similar to many good looking, successful guys in their 30s, J and his friends have had a lot of "interactions" with women in their 20s. Over the years, they've come up with a "female growth chart" that outlines the different life stages we go through (which subsequently helps them figure out which chicks are easiest to bang). Now, while I don't have much interest in the part of the growth chart that gets the boys to...well...grow in a certain area for lack of a better term, the actual stages that they came up with are pretty damn accurate.
Stage One: (generally occurs in a female's early 20s) Female mentally puts together her life progression chart. She's going to be done with college, vocational school, etc. by age XX, she'll have the perfect career by age XX, while she simultaneously meets the man of her dreams. She'll have the perfect wedding followed by the perfect child by age XX, so on and so forth. Despite the fact that people try to warn her otherwise, Female knows she is the exception to the rule. Her life will fall perfectly into place just like she's planned.
Stage Two: (generally occurs in a female's mid to late 20s) Female starts to realize that her life does not completely match the life progression chart she's come up with. She finished school, but hates her job. Prince Charming turned into Prince that has many other Princesses, so and and so forth. No matter though. Female still knows she is the exception.
Stage Three: also know as "Self-Actualization" (generally occurs in a female's late 20s or 30s) Female realizes that past XX years have had their ups and downs and despite what society tells her, she knows her life progression chart is a bunch of bullshit. Female realizes that she is NOT the exception to the rule. She figures out where her place in the world is and settles into that position, sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the bad.
After he finished explaining the different stages, J showed me how girls we both knew, myself included, fell into each of these stages. It was scary how accurate he was. So, in conclusion, don't judge a stripper, gold digger, bartender, or anyone else by her cover. She might actually be more ahead of you than you realize. Stage 3 biotches!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Similar to many good looking, successful guys in their 30s, J and his friends have had a lot of "interactions" with women in their 20s. Over the years, they've come up with a "female growth chart" that outlines the different life stages we go through (which subsequently helps them figure out which chicks are easiest to bang). Now, while I don't have much interest in the part of the growth chart that gets the boys to...well...grow in a certain area for lack of a better term, the actual stages that they came up with are pretty damn accurate.
Stage One: (generally occurs in a female's early 20s) Female mentally puts together her life progression chart. She's going to be done with college, vocational school, etc. by age XX, she'll have the perfect career by age XX, while she simultaneously meets the man of her dreams. She'll have the perfect wedding followed by the perfect child by age XX, so on and so forth. Despite the fact that people try to warn her otherwise, Female knows she is the exception to the rule. Her life will fall perfectly into place just like she's planned.
Stage Two: (generally occurs in a female's mid to late 20s) Female starts to realize that her life does not completely match the life progression chart she's come up with. She finished school, but hates her job. Prince Charming turned into Prince that has many other Princesses, so and and so forth. No matter though. Female still knows she is the exception.
Stage Three: also know as "Self-Actualization" (generally occurs in a female's late 20s or 30s) Female realizes that past XX years have had their ups and downs and despite what society tells her, she knows her life progression chart is a bunch of bullshit. Female realizes that she is NOT the exception to the rule. She figures out where her place in the world is and settles into that position, sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the bad.
After he finished explaining the different stages, J showed me how girls we both knew, myself included, fell into each of these stages. It was scary how accurate he was. So, in conclusion, don't judge a stripper, gold digger, bartender, or anyone else by her cover. She might actually be more ahead of you than you realize. Stage 3 biotches!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Our-2-Sents: Your Dilemmas Answered in 2 Sentences...
Dear GenXYZ Project,
I’m a “nice guy” and am sick of getting walked all over by girls. My friends dick girls overall the time, and it seems like girls can’t get enough of them. I'm respectful, reliable, take girls out on dates when I say I'm going to, and don’t expect to get in their pants just because I dropped $100 on dinner. But it seems like every time I’m into a girl, she starts cancelling on me, stops taking my phone calls, or even worse, tells me that she thinks we’re “better off as friends.” I’m about to throw in the towel and become a complete asshole, unless you have a better suggestion.
~ Kevin, age 24, Los Angeles
Lil' GenXYZ: Honestly, you probably have no game. The right girls just want a little mystery at the beginning of a
relationship.
GenXYZ Junior: I’d erase the typical “type” of girl you usually date, and start from scratch. Rinse, Repeat.
GenXYZ: If you’re willing to give up on all women because of a few bad experiences, I think you should throw in the towel.
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible to any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Engaged and Underage
I’m engaged and underage. Well, sort of. I’m not legally underage—but being under 25, I’m definitely underage in the court of public opinion. When my family and friends first learned that I was going to get engaged soon, their reactions ranged from incredulous to devastated. “You don’t even know what you don’t know yet,” one family friend told me. My dad was even more direct: “You’re going to ruin two lives: yours and his.” Ouch. But I understand where they were coming from.
After all, people who marry under age 25 have a significantly higher divorce rate. And conventional wisdom today is that your twenties are for “having fun.” With age comes life experience and financial and professional security, all of which come in handy when you’re making plans to spend the rest of your life with someone. So why did I ignore all the conventional wisdom and dire warnings from my family and friends?
When I met Sam (*not his real name) during my sophomore year of college, I couldn’t let him get away. We just worked. I had never been one of those girls desperate to get her M.R.S., but I knew I always wanted to be with him. I wasn’t willing to let him go just because other people thought I was too young. In a world of over six billion people, I’m not sure how many other men would be willing to put up with all my crap and love me exactly as I am. Maybe there’s a handful out there, but they could be in Antarctica or Venezuela or God knows where. Sam is right here and he speaks English. So marrying him just makes sense.
There’s something to be said for falling in love once and for the rest of your life. I’m lucky in that respect. I’ve seen too many people I love go through horrible breakups. Most of them came out stronger and more resilient. But some of them have trouble shaking the pain and damage inflicted by an awful breakup and failed relationship. Sam has been through it. I haven’t. And you know what? Having been a shoulder to cry on for countless girlfriends and several siblings, I don’t envy it. It’s not that I don’t admire people who come out on the better side after a breakup, because I do. It’s just that I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes. That’s part of the reason I’ve never been interested in “having fun” and dating around. For someone as emotionally earnest and serious as me, trying people on for size means heartbreak. I’ve found the right one—what’s the point in continuing to look?
Some people have asked me, why the rush? There really was none. By the time we get married this summer, we’ll be a month short of our four-year anniversary together. Still, I know the timing isn’t “perfect.” While I have a degree and financial independence, I have so much shit to figure out yet—namely my long-term career goals. Sam is about a decade older than me and has a job he loves, so he has a clearer path than I do. Sometimes that worries me. But at the end of the day, he’s unconditionally supportive and I’m free to make mistakes and choose my own way as I wander through the maze of my early twenties.
Now you know what this Gen XYZ-er has in common with your grandma: I’m getting married in my early twenties. What can I say? I never was one to take a conventional route.
Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ
When I met Sam (*not his real name) during my sophomore year of college, I couldn’t let him get away. We just worked. I had never been one of those girls desperate to get her M.R.S., but I knew I always wanted to be with him. I wasn’t willing to let him go just because other people thought I was too young. In a world of over six billion people, I’m not sure how many other men would be willing to put up with all my crap and love me exactly as I am. Maybe there’s a handful out there, but they could be in Antarctica or Venezuela or God knows where. Sam is right here and he speaks English. So marrying him just makes sense.
There’s something to be said for falling in love once and for the rest of your life. I’m lucky in that respect. I’ve seen too many people I love go through horrible breakups. Most of them came out stronger and more resilient. But some of them have trouble shaking the pain and damage inflicted by an awful breakup and failed relationship. Sam has been through it. I haven’t. And you know what? Having been a shoulder to cry on for countless girlfriends and several siblings, I don’t envy it. It’s not that I don’t admire people who come out on the better side after a breakup, because I do. It’s just that I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes. That’s part of the reason I’ve never been interested in “having fun” and dating around. For someone as emotionally earnest and serious as me, trying people on for size means heartbreak. I’ve found the right one—what’s the point in continuing to look?
Some people have asked me, why the rush? There really was none. By the time we get married this summer, we’ll be a month short of our four-year anniversary together. Still, I know the timing isn’t “perfect.” While I have a degree and financial independence, I have so much shit to figure out yet—namely my long-term career goals. Sam is about a decade older than me and has a job he loves, so he has a clearer path than I do. Sometimes that worries me. But at the end of the day, he’s unconditionally supportive and I’m free to make mistakes and choose my own way as I wander through the maze of my early twenties.
Now you know what this Gen XYZ-er has in common with your grandma: I’m getting married in my early twenties. What can I say? I never was one to take a conventional route.
Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Our-2-Sents: Your Dilemmas Answered in 2 Sentences...
Dear GenXYZ Project,
I’m having the hardest time finding a work/life balance. My job is super demanding and even though I’m logging in insane hours, my boss still thinks it’s okay to call me the few hours I actually have to myself at home. I’m reaching a breaking point and don’t know what to do. My boss has no life and is completely dedicated to the company, and seems to expect the exact same from me. Help!!!
K.L., age 27, San Diego
Lil' GenXYZ: Don’t answer your boss’ calls, don’t check your emails, don’t even THINK about work on your days off. If your boss confronts you about it when you get back to the office, remind him/her that you’re only available on your days off in dire emergencies and discuss a strategy for handling these issues during your work week.
GenXYZ Junior: I have to call upon the choice words of a former First Lady, Nancy Reagan: Just say no!! Seriously, stop picking up the calls, stop the insane hours, and see if they get the point; if they don’t, they likely never will.
GenXYZ: Start calling your boss on his/her days off and asking very pertinent, but could-wait-until-Monday questions. I guarantee you won’t be receiving too many more phone calls when you’re out trying to have a life.
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com. Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible to any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
Monday, February 14, 2011
What Would My Life Be Like If I Was Ugly?
Forgive the obnoxious title and hear me out. The long and the short of it is that I’m a pretty girl. I know that there are plenty of girls out there who are more beautiful than I am, but I also know that I’m above average in the looks department. Before you write me off as a shallow brat, let me just say that I know looks aren’t the end-all-be-all. I know that girls who only invest in their appearance end up as desperate 40-something cougars with frozen foreheads and lopsided jowls from years of Botox and fillers. I know that kindness, intelligence, and ambition are infinitely more admirable qualities. But I have to admit that as an attractive girl, life has handed me things that I may not have deserved.
Sometimes I ask myself what my life would be like if I wasn’t attractive. Would I have been able to sweet talk my financial counselor into renewing my scholarship after my GPA plummeted freshman year because I partied too hard? Would I have landed all the jobs I’ve had over the past few years, even though I applied with no experience? Would the people I care about—acquaintances, friends, even my fiancée—still be in my life if I looked…well…ugly?
Okay, so it’s not exactly a shocking revelation that attractive people are unfairly privileged. But I worry about myself, my future children, and all the people I love living in a culture that increasingly values something that has a very fleeting, finite shelf life.
President Obama said that we need to value the winner of the science fair as much as we value a star quarterback. I hate to be cynical, but to me that sounds as likely as Joan Rivers looking like a human being again. Let’s face it: can you really see the class math whiz being as popular as the starting quarterback, or for that matter, the homecoming queen? In China, the brightest students are revered. Here, the brightest students are the punch lines of cult classics like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. We idolize celebrities who are young and beautiful, regardless of whether they have anything interesting to say (or an ounce of talent, for that matter). And if you ask a 4th grader who she wants to be like when she grows up, you’re far more likely to hear Miley Cyrus than Hillary Clinton or Condoleezza Rice.
Why are we this way? Will it ever change? And for that matter, should it even change? Or are our society's materialistic and beauty-obsessed values ultimately harmless? Whatever the answer is, I hope I have the fortitude of character to wake up in 30 years, see my laugh lines, wrinkles, sun spots, and saggy skin, and love myself exactly as I am.
Catch ya later,
Lil’ Gen XYZ
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Multitasking: Good or Bad for you?
The other day I was watching a special on TV called "Digital Nation" (yes, I am a total nerd), that examined the different areas of our lives affected when we are "plugged in" 24/7 to the internet and technology. While the long term results are still out for debate, the research to date is pretty powerful. The area that piqued my interest the most was the area of multitasking. Basically, one of the studies showed that people who claim to be "super multitaskers", were, in fact, distracted, disorganized, and not really good at any of their 'multi' tasks.
Having worked several jobs ranging from your 9 to 5 desk job to the standard college waitress job, I can list several superstar multitaskers that defy the results of this study. Multitasking is as common a requisite on today's job listings as "college degree", some may argue, even more common. Personally, I have definitely had to multitask on several jobs, or else I would have been canned within a week or less. As I thought about it more, though, while multitasking was largely mandatory in my professional life, it painted quite a different story in my personal life.
For one, I have become a much worse conversationalist. While I'm on the phone, chances are I'll be doing something else simultaneously (have the computer or TV on in the background, eating/cooking, driving, doing chores/etc), and it will affect my ability to completely listen to the other person and have a good conversation. My attention span has definitely been shortened- I can't even count how many times I've picked up a book, only to be distracted by something else and never finish. I find myself surfing the internet, clicking from one page to the next, the contents of which I am never fully retaining. In the past, when I make a conscious effort to focus an entire day doing less tasks simultaneously, I find myself distracted less, remembering more, and ironically, getting more done and doing a better job at what I'm doing.
I know not all of the examples above are 100% related to multitasking, and it's very possible I am unique in my experiences, but I wonder- have you guys ever experienced anything similar? Do you think multi-tasking is a good or bad thing, or somewhere in the middle? Are you a self proclaimed multi-tasker or do you prefer not to? We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences!
Having worked several jobs ranging from your 9 to 5 desk job to the standard college waitress job, I can list several superstar multitaskers that defy the results of this study. Multitasking is as common a requisite on today's job listings as "college degree", some may argue, even more common. Personally, I have definitely had to multitask on several jobs, or else I would have been canned within a week or less. As I thought about it more, though, while multitasking was largely mandatory in my professional life, it painted quite a different story in my personal life.
For one, I have become a much worse conversationalist. While I'm on the phone, chances are I'll be doing something else simultaneously (have the computer or TV on in the background, eating/cooking, driving, doing chores/etc), and it will affect my ability to completely listen to the other person and have a good conversation. My attention span has definitely been shortened- I can't even count how many times I've picked up a book, only to be distracted by something else and never finish. I find myself surfing the internet, clicking from one page to the next, the contents of which I am never fully retaining. In the past, when I make a conscious effort to focus an entire day doing less tasks simultaneously, I find myself distracted less, remembering more, and ironically, getting more done and doing a better job at what I'm doing.
I know not all of the examples above are 100% related to multitasking, and it's very possible I am unique in my experiences, but I wonder- have you guys ever experienced anything similar? Do you think multi-tasking is a good or bad thing, or somewhere in the middle? Are you a self proclaimed multi-tasker or do you prefer not to? We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Our-2-Sents: Your Dilemmas Answered in 2 Sentences...
Dear GenXYZ Project,
I'm being "pushed out" at work. My boss is an evil witch who freaks out at me over minor things. In addition, she gives me several awful, mind-numbing, time-consuming projects (i.e folding 600 brochures perfectly-she even checks the crease lines) that have nothing to do with what I was hired for. She's been uncharacteristically silent on a few long-term projects I just finished that I know I did a great job on and is always making comments about how my workload isn't heavy enough. Here's the kicker, she asked me to start training another co-worker on my daily tasks (minus the brochure folding), so I have a strong feeling she's trying to get rid of me sooner rather than later. I've looked online a little bit for jobs, but there's nothing out there right now. I feel like I'm going to get the pink slip any day. Help!!!!
- M.J., age 26, Phoenix
GenXYZ: M.J., if you absolutely need your job, keep it as long as you can and start networking with everyone asap (even including your local Starbucks guy...who knows, they could be hiring). If you can get away with quitting your job before having another one, set up a bunch of fabulously folded brochures on your boss's desk that spell out "I Quit" ("Go F*ck Yourself" is optional).
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible to any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
I'm being "pushed out" at work. My boss is an evil witch who freaks out at me over minor things. In addition, she gives me several awful, mind-numbing, time-consuming projects (i.e folding 600 brochures perfectly-she even checks the crease lines) that have nothing to do with what I was hired for. She's been uncharacteristically silent on a few long-term projects I just finished that I know I did a great job on and is always making comments about how my workload isn't heavy enough. Here's the kicker, she asked me to start training another co-worker on my daily tasks (minus the brochure folding), so I have a strong feeling she's trying to get rid of me sooner rather than later. I've looked online a little bit for jobs, but there's nothing out there right now. I feel like I'm going to get the pink slip any day. Help!!!!
- M.J., age 26, Phoenix
GenXYZ: M.J., if you absolutely need your job, keep it as long as you can and start networking with everyone asap (even including your local Starbucks guy...who knows, they could be hiring). If you can get away with quitting your job before having another one, set up a bunch of fabulously folded brochures on your boss's desk that spell out "I Quit" ("Go F*ck Yourself" is optional).
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible to any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Changes Are A Comin'
Lately, I've spent some time re-reading my old posts and mulling over things that I'd like to write on. It didn't take long for me to realize that while I can certainly paint a picture for you about a few relatively interesting subjects, I can only really blog about, well, a few relatively interesting subjects. So, in order to make this blog truly about what our generations, GenXYZ, deals with/thinks about/experiences, I've enlisted the help of two GenXYZers to blog with me on a daily basis.
The format of the blog will stay mostly the same, but instead of getting posts from me a few times a week, you will be getting posts from one of us every single day starting Friday. In addition to the posts, there will be a new section added call "Our 2 Sents". We'd like to invite you to send us any and all questions you have dealing with what it's like to be a GenXYZer to us at genxyzproject@gmail.com. We will post/answer the questions on the blog a few times a week. You will be kept anonymous, so feel free to get as explicit as you want;)
I hope that the changes we are making to the blog will help you and every other GenXYZer out there to realize that 1) there are people out there who are certainly crazier than you (namely me) and 2) you're not alone in the different life struggles you're dealing with.
Thanks for your support and keep reading, commenting, and recommending us to your friends. It's only going to get more interesting from here!
Lots of love,
GenXYZ
The format of the blog will stay mostly the same, but instead of getting posts from me a few times a week, you will be getting posts from one of us every single day starting Friday. In addition to the posts, there will be a new section added call "Our 2 Sents". We'd like to invite you to send us any and all questions you have dealing with what it's like to be a GenXYZer to us at genxyzproject@gmail.com. We will post/answer the questions on the blog a few times a week. You will be kept anonymous, so feel free to get as explicit as you want;)
I hope that the changes we are making to the blog will help you and every other GenXYZer out there to realize that 1) there are people out there who are certainly crazier than you (namely me) and 2) you're not alone in the different life struggles you're dealing with.
Thanks for your support and keep reading, commenting, and recommending us to your friends. It's only going to get more interesting from here!
Lots of love,
GenXYZ
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater
A few days ago, a good friend confided in me that she was cheating on her fiancé. It caught me completely off guard as they were THE couple. You know, the one couple those of us in relationships aspire to be and constantly compare ourselves to. When I'd hang out with them, they were always on the same page, no fighting, great communication, blah, blah, blah. My jaw fell to the ground as my friend talked about the amazing sex she had with her boss a couple days before. Although, I'm not the type to judge, I just didn't get it. For someone that seemed to have it all in one relationship, sexing it up with other people struck me as a little greedy.
Fast-forward to this afternoon and I'm sitting on the couch watching a re-run of Shameless on Showtime. A particularly smokin hot throw-the-girl-up-against-the-wall love scene made me stop dead in my track. Everything my friend had told me made sense. I now knew why she did what she did.
Most people will tell you that happily ever after relationships are based on communication and respect. In fact, pre-Shameless sex scene, I would have told you the same. In actuality, happily ever relationships are based on putting mind blowing sex first, communication and respect second. Think about it. When do you have time to disrespect/not communicate/screw up your relationship if you spend a good portion of your relationship...well...screwing? And screwing well. See, on the surface, my friend and her fiancé had the communication and respect thing down. They've been together for several years and had worked hard to understand and communicate effectively with each other. Unfortunately, they didn't put the same amount of time into their sex life and when given the opportunity, she tested the waters elsewhere. And lets face it, as much as it sucks, if youre not getting the quantity AND quality at home, most do test the waters elsewhere.
For a generation that works more than we play, it shouldn't come as a surprise that so many of us cheat. Relationships often fall into the work category, which leaves us with even less play time, so when given the opportunity to have a little fun, we jump at the chance no matter what the consequences are. So what does this mean for GenXYZers who are in or eventually want to be in a monogamous long-term relationship? Either throw each other up against a wall at least a few times a week or invest in a super strong chastity belt for your partner.
Fast-forward to this afternoon and I'm sitting on the couch watching a re-run of Shameless on Showtime. A particularly smokin hot throw-the-girl-up-against-the-wall love scene made me stop dead in my track. Everything my friend had told me made sense. I now knew why she did what she did.
Most people will tell you that happily ever after relationships are based on communication and respect. In fact, pre-Shameless sex scene, I would have told you the same. In actuality, happily ever relationships are based on putting mind blowing sex first, communication and respect second. Think about it. When do you have time to disrespect/not communicate/screw up your relationship if you spend a good portion of your relationship...well...screwing? And screwing well. See, on the surface, my friend and her fiancé had the communication and respect thing down. They've been together for several years and had worked hard to understand and communicate effectively with each other. Unfortunately, they didn't put the same amount of time into their sex life and when given the opportunity, she tested the waters elsewhere. And lets face it, as much as it sucks, if youre not getting the quantity AND quality at home, most do test the waters elsewhere.
For a generation that works more than we play, it shouldn't come as a surprise that so many of us cheat. Relationships often fall into the work category, which leaves us with even less play time, so when given the opportunity to have a little fun, we jump at the chance no matter what the consequences are. So what does this mean for GenXYZers who are in or eventually want to be in a monogamous long-term relationship? Either throw each other up against a wall at least a few times a week or invest in a super strong chastity belt for your partner.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I Would Never Date Me
A few years ago, my then boyfriend and I got into a fight. Deeply frustrated, I picked up the closest object I could find, a statue of an owl he always said I resembled, and chucked it at his head. After realizing what I had done, I was super embarrassed and swore never to let myself get so out of control again. Fast-forward a couple years and once again, I found myself in a fight with my current boyfriend. Deeply frustrated, I picked up the closest object I could find, my laptop, and chucked it across the room. Once again, embarrassment, as well as a big bill to fix my keyboard, followed shortly.
We all have aspects of our personalities that are, well, bad by most standards. We are told by the people we surround ourselves with to change, so we try our best to undo our self-centered behaviors, bad tempers, or blunt opinions. We spend massive amounts of time and money on shrinks that will cure us when in the end, our bad behaviors make you and make me exactly who we are. Now, I'm not saying that every time I get mad it should be acceptable to throw bananas at people (that too happened about a month ago...if you don't believe me, just check out my living room wall), but I do believe that being a super pissed off person sometimes is just as central to me as being a writer. Hell, if I wasn't an angry person, I would have never been pushed to start this blog!
So, in conclusion, take your bad behaviors in stride. Depending on what they are, you may not want to get rid of them. Everyone loves a bad boy...and girl.
We all have aspects of our personalities that are, well, bad by most standards. We are told by the people we surround ourselves with to change, so we try our best to undo our self-centered behaviors, bad tempers, or blunt opinions. We spend massive amounts of time and money on shrinks that will cure us when in the end, our bad behaviors make you and make me exactly who we are. Now, I'm not saying that every time I get mad it should be acceptable to throw bananas at people (that too happened about a month ago...if you don't believe me, just check out my living room wall), but I do believe that being a super pissed off person sometimes is just as central to me as being a writer. Hell, if I wasn't an angry person, I would have never been pushed to start this blog!
So, in conclusion, take your bad behaviors in stride. Depending on what they are, you may not want to get rid of them. Everyone loves a bad boy...and girl.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
And the Winner Is...
Unfortunately, my numbers weren't picked yesterday, so it's off to work I go. Stayed tuned as you will be hearing a lot from me next week. Keep the comments coming as well!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
And The Nominees For My "F*ck Off" List Are....
Today is about to become the best day of my life. This morning, I drove to the gas station, filled up my car, and purchased a lottery ticket which I'm pretty sure will have the winning numbers on it in Friday's drawing. Do not fear, although I'm about to become 51 million dollars richer (after taxes), I still plan on devoting quite a bit of time blogging about life. Hell, maybe I'll actually have time to turn this blog into a business and write my book! So, in lieu of this life-changing event, I've decided to compile my F-off list, so it's very clear who's not coming with me to spend my winnings. I'm sure you'll identify...
I would like to say fuck off to the following people:
1) Bitchy service personel. I will buy your store just to fire your ass. Stop being rude. I do your job everyday with a smile on my face no matter how pissed I am.
2) Douchebags that make comments about every chick that walks by. No one likes you. The only reason we don't put you in check is because we're scared you're going to rape us. Do yourself a favor and hire a call girl if you need to get laid that bad. I'll buy you one if that will shut you up.
3)People that can't drive. If you can't figure out how to make the speed-o-meter match the number on the speed limit sign, don't go out between the hours of 7AM and 2AM. I will purchase a bus pass for you. Stay off the road.
I would like to say fuck off and then some to the following:
4) Bad Co-Workers. Working together does not give you rights to ask about my personal life nor follow me to the bathroom to get the gossip when you see I'm about to lose it. Oh,and those pens on my desk are mine. Stop "borrowing" them every time you're too lazy to go to the supply closet.
5) Chicks That Hate on Other Chicks. Self-proclaimed guy's girl? We know your kind and don't like you. Yeah, it was cool to be the guy's girl in 5th grade, but guess what? We're adults. If you can't get along with your own kind, there's something wrong with you.
Finally, I would like to say fuck-off-I-will-level-your-house-with-my-winnings to the following:
6) 95% of My Former Bosses. Let's be honest, it wasn't me, it was you. And let's be even more honest, I could do your job in my sleep. The only reason you're at where you're at is because your old and have been with the company a long time. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.
Well, that should do it. Everyone else, drinks on me on Friday!!
I would like to say fuck off to the following people:
1) Bitchy service personel. I will buy your store just to fire your ass. Stop being rude. I do your job everyday with a smile on my face no matter how pissed I am.
2) Douchebags that make comments about every chick that walks by. No one likes you. The only reason we don't put you in check is because we're scared you're going to rape us. Do yourself a favor and hire a call girl if you need to get laid that bad. I'll buy you one if that will shut you up.
3)People that can't drive. If you can't figure out how to make the speed-o-meter match the number on the speed limit sign, don't go out between the hours of 7AM and 2AM. I will purchase a bus pass for you. Stay off the road.
I would like to say fuck off and then some to the following:
4) Bad Co-Workers. Working together does not give you rights to ask about my personal life nor follow me to the bathroom to get the gossip when you see I'm about to lose it. Oh,and those pens on my desk are mine. Stop "borrowing" them every time you're too lazy to go to the supply closet.
5) Chicks That Hate on Other Chicks. Self-proclaimed guy's girl? We know your kind and don't like you. Yeah, it was cool to be the guy's girl in 5th grade, but guess what? We're adults. If you can't get along with your own kind, there's something wrong with you.
Finally, I would like to say fuck-off-I-will-level-your-house-with-my-winnings to the following:
6) 95% of My Former Bosses. Let's be honest, it wasn't me, it was you. And let's be even more honest, I could do your job in my sleep. The only reason you're at where you're at is because your old and have been with the company a long time. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.
Well, that should do it. Everyone else, drinks on me on Friday!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
When Beer Goggles Have the Opposite Effect
Over the weekend, I met up with some friends at a crowded pool hall to hang out and throw back a few much needed drinks. As I fought my way to the front of the packed bar, I couldn't help but notice how young everyone looked. No matter though, clearly with my baby face and ponytail, I fit in just fine. When I finally made it to the bar, I had the pleasure of standing next to a wasted guy who kept staring at me as he swayed back and forth. After a great deal of thought, the wasted guy finally opened his mouth and spoke: "You're like what...30?". I looked to my left and then to my right. He was talking to me. FML.
Aging is a scary thing and anyone who tells you differently is lying. This year, I've finally started to figure out a few things, like what I want to do professionally and where I want to live. While getting these two things off my checklist would normally be something I'd celebrate, I can't because I'm pressed for time. At 28 years old, I'm also facing things that I haven't even given a thought to, such as kids and marriage solely because in the eyes of society (and medicine), my time's running out. Okay, okay, who am I kidding? As much as I'd like you to feel sorry for me, realistically, I have and will always say screw society for their expectations. I'm not following anyone's timeline but my own, even if that means giving birth...or adopting...at 50.
GenXYZ is not only redefining what we as a society do, but when we do it. As cougars take over nightlife everywhere and people my age continue to put off making babies, I have no doubt that "You're like what...30?" will soon be a compliment. So, in conclusion, I'm heading out to get a tan at the beach and perhaps grab a drink at a bar I will not get carded at before I head into my non-professional bartending job. Who wants to come with me?
Aging is a scary thing and anyone who tells you differently is lying. This year, I've finally started to figure out a few things, like what I want to do professionally and where I want to live. While getting these two things off my checklist would normally be something I'd celebrate, I can't because I'm pressed for time. At 28 years old, I'm also facing things that I haven't even given a thought to, such as kids and marriage solely because in the eyes of society (and medicine), my time's running out. Okay, okay, who am I kidding? As much as I'd like you to feel sorry for me, realistically, I have and will always say screw society for their expectations. I'm not following anyone's timeline but my own, even if that means giving birth...or adopting...at 50.
GenXYZ is not only redefining what we as a society do, but when we do it. As cougars take over nightlife everywhere and people my age continue to put off making babies, I have no doubt that "You're like what...30?" will soon be a compliment. So, in conclusion, I'm heading out to get a tan at the beach and perhaps grab a drink at a bar I will not get carded at before I head into my non-professional bartending job. Who wants to come with me?
Monday, January 31, 2011
If I Had A Dime For Everytime A Woman Was A B*tch, I'd Be Filthy Rich.
The other day, I was standing in line at CVS minding my own business. The older lady in front of me had oh, about 50 coupons, so needless to say, I was occupying myself by flipping through the dirt-rags lining the register. I was snapped out of my "Jen Cries As Angelina Swears to Have Another Baby With Brad" article by two young ladies standing in the line next to me, as I caught the tail end of their conversation. "It looks so much better on you, obviously" said the perky 20-something year old blonde to the other perky 20-something year old blonde. I looked over at them and realized that one of the blonde's and I were wearing the same shirt.
"When did women become so bitchy?" is a question I often find myself pondering. There doesn't seem to be a day that goes by where I don't see, hear, or experience one woman being catty towards another. It happens at work, with friends, and at random CVS's when we're least expecting it. I don't get it.
As a "girl's girl", I am a part of a dying breed. I've been lucky enough to have been exposed to some amazing women in my lifetime and find that my relationships with girls are almost always more meaningful than my relationships with guys (there are a few exceptions of course). I have a deep respect for women and all the bullshit they have to deal with from juggling careers, families, and social lives to the non-stop perfect body pressure to fighting for equality in a world that clearly sees us as the less able sex. Don't get me wrong, I heart men, but when it comes to everyday struggles, I think that women have to work a little harder to get where they want to go.
So, women, it's time to cut the crap. If we spent half as much time being productive as we do with make up, hair, and making fun of random chicks at CVS, we would have already taken over the world by now. And, let me tell you, world domination rocks; if you've ever watched Spartacus on Starz, you should know that having males as your slaves is nothing short of hot.
"When did women become so bitchy?" is a question I often find myself pondering. There doesn't seem to be a day that goes by where I don't see, hear, or experience one woman being catty towards another. It happens at work, with friends, and at random CVS's when we're least expecting it. I don't get it.
As a "girl's girl", I am a part of a dying breed. I've been lucky enough to have been exposed to some amazing women in my lifetime and find that my relationships with girls are almost always more meaningful than my relationships with guys (there are a few exceptions of course). I have a deep respect for women and all the bullshit they have to deal with from juggling careers, families, and social lives to the non-stop perfect body pressure to fighting for equality in a world that clearly sees us as the less able sex. Don't get me wrong, I heart men, but when it comes to everyday struggles, I think that women have to work a little harder to get where they want to go.
So, women, it's time to cut the crap. If we spent half as much time being productive as we do with make up, hair, and making fun of random chicks at CVS, we would have already taken over the world by now. And, let me tell you, world domination rocks; if you've ever watched Spartacus on Starz, you should know that having males as your slaves is nothing short of hot.
Monday, January 24, 2011
You & Me Baby Ain't Nothin But Mammals, So Let's Do It Like They Do On The Discovery Channel
While I recognize that animals do some narly things like crap and have sex in public, you have to give them credit for one thing; the Animal Kingdom has the formula for successful relationships down to a science. Male suitors prove themselves by fighting and sometimes dying while pursuing, protecting, and pleasing their mates. Female animals are well taken are of. Their mates drag home dinner, watch over the family, and if you ever happen to watch the Discovery Channel, you know how much they get laid. While there's sure to be some competition between males to attract mates or between females to be the most desired one of the bunch, everything seems to even out. Even the peacock with the least colorful feather can find a partner. Animals don't waste their times on the wrong mates.
When it comes to humans, the only aspect of relationships that females and males seems to be very proficient in is screwing. Girls screw other girls over if it means they'll get the guy. Guys screw other guys over if it means they'll get the girl. We screw ourselves into thinking that screwing screwed up people will somehow lead to a less-than-screwed up relationship. You get the point.
In my opinion, it all comes down to understanding evolution. Animals have been around for a long time and are wired to survive. They recognize that finding a mate, creating, and protecting their families will allow their species to continue on. Even with all of their intellectual capabilities, humans are a self-destructive species. Rather than honing in on finding a partener that will support and enable us to reach our individual potentials, many of us spend our time in the wrong relationships and friendships, and can't seem to understand why we can't grow. This, my friends, is no bueno.
When it comes to mating, maybe we could take a few pointers from the Animal Kingdom. You know what they say..."You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel".
When it comes to humans, the only aspect of relationships that females and males seems to be very proficient in is screwing. Girls screw other girls over if it means they'll get the guy. Guys screw other guys over if it means they'll get the girl. We screw ourselves into thinking that screwing screwed up people will somehow lead to a less-than-screwed up relationship. You get the point.
In my opinion, it all comes down to understanding evolution. Animals have been around for a long time and are wired to survive. They recognize that finding a mate, creating, and protecting their families will allow their species to continue on. Even with all of their intellectual capabilities, humans are a self-destructive species. Rather than honing in on finding a partener that will support and enable us to reach our individual potentials, many of us spend our time in the wrong relationships and friendships, and can't seem to understand why we can't grow. This, my friends, is no bueno.
When it comes to mating, maybe we could take a few pointers from the Animal Kingdom. You know what they say..."You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel".
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Case Against College
As a high schooler, my parents use to tell me that life as I knew it would be over unless I got into a good college. I spent the good majority of my teenage years living my life in preparation for college applications. I kept my grades in check, got involved in lame clubs (and got kicked out of a few too), and studied my rear off for the SATs. I finished up high school with decent grades, got into a pretty good college, kicked ass in college, got into a well known grad school, and ended up squeaking by with an graduate degree a few years later. I was ready to embrace the real world with open arms, but quickly found out that my education hadn't prepared me for much.
In school, I was taught that Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato were important dudes, that the term "monopoly" isn't just the name of a board game, and that women have been oppressed for a long time. What I wish I would have been taught is how to understand my credit score, how to save for retirement, the importance of networking, and maybe even Bartending 101...mixing cocktails has been a hell of a lot more important to me in my career than my Women's Studies classes.
With a couple exceptions, such as studying to be a mechanical engineer or doctor, I don't understand how going to college makes you more well prepared for a job or the real world. In fact, I almost think it can be detrimental for some. Case and point, I was chatting with a cocktail waitress from work a few days ago and she was telling me that she needs to pay $700/month for the next 25 years in order to pay off her college debt. The poor girl will be waitressing until she's 50 before she even has a chance to look at a career!
So, in conclusion, I've decided if this whole writing thing doesn't work out, I might have to venture out and create a new education system for those of us who don't see the connection between Aristotle and paying our bills. And believe me, Bartending 101 will be in the class catalogue.
In school, I was taught that Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato were important dudes, that the term "monopoly" isn't just the name of a board game, and that women have been oppressed for a long time. What I wish I would have been taught is how to understand my credit score, how to save for retirement, the importance of networking, and maybe even Bartending 101...mixing cocktails has been a hell of a lot more important to me in my career than my Women's Studies classes.
With a couple exceptions, such as studying to be a mechanical engineer or doctor, I don't understand how going to college makes you more well prepared for a job or the real world. In fact, I almost think it can be detrimental for some. Case and point, I was chatting with a cocktail waitress from work a few days ago and she was telling me that she needs to pay $700/month for the next 25 years in order to pay off her college debt. The poor girl will be waitressing until she's 50 before she even has a chance to look at a career!
So, in conclusion, I've decided if this whole writing thing doesn't work out, I might have to venture out and create a new education system for those of us who don't see the connection between Aristotle and paying our bills. And believe me, Bartending 101 will be in the class catalogue.
Monday, January 10, 2011
I Am A Burnout...Someone Find Me A Joint
Marathoner, Grad school Graduate, Professor, Party Girl, and Gym Rat were words that use to describe me. There's no doubt about it; once upon a time ago, I was someone going somewhere. If I set my mind to something, there was no way of stopping me. Fast-forward a few years and I barely recognize myself. I bartend a few days a week, sleep at least half the day away, rarely see my friends, and haven't set foot in a gym for well over a few months. How did this transition happen?
If you believe that the Quarter Life Crisis exists, then you probably too have experienced the Quarter Life Burnout. Anyone over the age of 40 reading this is probably scoffing at me, "Humph! Like she knows what it's like to slave away for 20 years in an office!" Despite the fact that my career has only spanned a little over 5 years, I assure you, I am burnt out. I'm burnt out with my job/retarded bosses/career path (or lack thereof), burnt out with my revolving circle of friends, and burnt out with stressing about everything all the damn time. Hell, I'm burnt out on being burnt out.
I think the worst part of the Quarter Life Burnout is feeling like 1) your stuck and you never know if and when it's going to end and 2)feeling like you're the lone solider and everyone else has it figured out. So, tell me what you think. Am I alone on this one?
If you believe that the Quarter Life Crisis exists, then you probably too have experienced the Quarter Life Burnout. Anyone over the age of 40 reading this is probably scoffing at me, "Humph! Like she knows what it's like to slave away for 20 years in an office!" Despite the fact that my career has only spanned a little over 5 years, I assure you, I am burnt out. I'm burnt out with my job/retarded bosses/career path (or lack thereof), burnt out with my revolving circle of friends, and burnt out with stressing about everything all the damn time. Hell, I'm burnt out on being burnt out.
I think the worst part of the Quarter Life Burnout is feeling like 1) your stuck and you never know if and when it's going to end and 2)feeling like you're the lone solider and everyone else has it figured out. So, tell me what you think. Am I alone on this one?
Monday, January 3, 2011
I Want Sex and Candy
On New Years Eve, I had the pleasure of doing what all bartenders do on holidays, work. At the stroke of midnight, I watched dozens of couples, many who had just met a few hours before, practically hump each other on my bar. Watching sloppy drunks make out is normally on my list of "Reasons Why Being A Bartender Can Suck Sometimes", but for some crazy reason, I was actually inspired. I decided right then and there what my New Year's resolution was going to be; 2011 will be the year of getting laid. A lot.
A few years ago, I ended up meeting someone that just rocks. Plain and simple. Like every other couple, we've had our ups and our down, but one thing stays the same, he deals with my craziness and let's me be...well, me. Rather than going on and on about my badass bf, I'll get to the point. Similiar to many necessary, but sometimes neglected, aspects of our lives, such as going to the gym and eating the right foods, maintaining all aspects of our significant relationships isn't something we always do. Listening to our partner talk about his/her day, no matter what game is on doesn't always happen. Going on dates with each other and remembering to say thank you slips by us. Dressing up in sexy lingerie and doing it like it's the first time all over again...well, let's just say, I'm pretty sure most of us in long term relationships have built up a collection of dust in our lingerie drawers.
Good boyfriends and girlfriends are hard to come by especially when there are tons of other options around every corner. Finding one is hard, but keeping one is damn near impossible. Letting your sig-o bitch about the stupid chicks at work, spending $50 on sushi and saki bombs once a week, and dusting off the old corset isn't all that hard and believe me, it goes a long way. Moral of the story, to those of you in relationships, if you want them to last a lifetime, you have to jump back in the saddle (pun intended). And singles, have a blast doing what you do, but please realize that the time and the place to hook up isn't at a bar in front of a bartender.
A few years ago, I ended up meeting someone that just rocks. Plain and simple. Like every other couple, we've had our ups and our down, but one thing stays the same, he deals with my craziness and let's me be...well, me. Rather than going on and on about my badass bf, I'll get to the point. Similiar to many necessary, but sometimes neglected, aspects of our lives, such as going to the gym and eating the right foods, maintaining all aspects of our significant relationships isn't something we always do. Listening to our partner talk about his/her day, no matter what game is on doesn't always happen. Going on dates with each other and remembering to say thank you slips by us. Dressing up in sexy lingerie and doing it like it's the first time all over again...well, let's just say, I'm pretty sure most of us in long term relationships have built up a collection of dust in our lingerie drawers.
Good boyfriends and girlfriends are hard to come by especially when there are tons of other options around every corner. Finding one is hard, but keeping one is damn near impossible. Letting your sig-o bitch about the stupid chicks at work, spending $50 on sushi and saki bombs once a week, and dusting off the old corset isn't all that hard and believe me, it goes a long way. Moral of the story, to those of you in relationships, if you want them to last a lifetime, you have to jump back in the saddle (pun intended). And singles, have a blast doing what you do, but please realize that the time and the place to hook up isn't at a bar in front of a bartender.
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