I was looking at my planner today and realized something unsettling: I’m two months short of two year anniversary out of college. First thought: I feel old as shit. Second thought: Where the hell has all that time gone? When I think about it, I guess I’ve experienced a lot. I moved across the country and made new friends. I got engaged. I’ve had numerous jobs. But on the whole, the direction my life is as uncertain as it was the day I shook hands with the Dean in front of my beaming family and friends.
Today, at 4 PM, I’m going to change into a white men’s dress shirt with a vest and tie. I’m going to put on my black slacks and black shoes. Then I’m going to drive to the upscale steak and seafood restaurant where I work. I’ll polish some silverware, fold some napkins, and spend the rest of the night running food and talking about the wet aging process of our steaks. Let me tell you, this isn’t exactly what I pictured for myself.
I often soothe my wounded pride by reminding myself that being a waitress isn’t so bad. But whenever I have time to think, I find myself wondering about what the hell I’m doing. Grad school seems like the only sane option, but honestly, I’m not even that excited about it. I know that I should be grateful for what I have already: a great relationship, a loving and supportive family, and a handful of amazing friends. But it’s not enough. My lack of a clear career path feels like a huge gaping hole in my life—and ego.
It seems like I’m not the only one dealing with these enormous questions. All the friends I made in college and post-college are uncertain about their future, too, at least professionally. And I’m not just talking about 22 or 23-year-olds—I have four good friends (off the top of my head) between 25 and 30 who are lost, career-wise, as well. What is it about us? Why the uncertainty? Is this lack of a clear-cut career and the resulting identity crisis a commonplace experience—or is it unique to our generation and our society, at this precise moment in time?
Who knows the right answers to these questions. At the very least, I hope I hang up my damn server uniform soon, or I’m calling my alma mater and asking for my money back.
Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ
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