Today is about to become the best day of my life. This morning, I drove to the gas station, filled up my car, and purchased a lottery ticket which I'm pretty sure will have the winning numbers on it in Friday's drawing. Do not fear, although I'm about to become 51 million dollars richer (after taxes), I still plan on devoting quite a bit of time blogging about life. Hell, maybe I'll actually have time to turn this blog into a business and write my book! So, in lieu of this life-changing event, I've decided to compile my F-off list, so it's very clear who's not coming with me to spend my winnings. I'm sure you'll identify...
I would like to say fuck off to the following people:
1) Bitchy service personel. I will buy your store just to fire your ass. Stop being rude. I do your job everyday with a smile on my face no matter how pissed I am.
2) Douchebags that make comments about every chick that walks by. No one likes you. The only reason we don't put you in check is because we're scared you're going to rape us. Do yourself a favor and hire a call girl if you need to get laid that bad. I'll buy you one if that will shut you up.
3)People that can't drive. If you can't figure out how to make the speed-o-meter match the number on the speed limit sign, don't go out between the hours of 7AM and 2AM. I will purchase a bus pass for you. Stay off the road.
I would like to say fuck off and then some to the following:
4) Bad Co-Workers. Working together does not give you rights to ask about my personal life nor follow me to the bathroom to get the gossip when you see I'm about to lose it. Oh,and those pens on my desk are mine. Stop "borrowing" them every time you're too lazy to go to the supply closet.
5) Chicks That Hate on Other Chicks. Self-proclaimed guy's girl? We know your kind and don't like you. Yeah, it was cool to be the guy's girl in 5th grade, but guess what? We're adults. If you can't get along with your own kind, there's something wrong with you.
Finally, I would like to say fuck-off-I-will-level-your-house-with-my-winnings to the following:
6) 95% of My Former Bosses. Let's be honest, it wasn't me, it was you. And let's be even more honest, I could do your job in my sleep. The only reason you're at where you're at is because your old and have been with the company a long time. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.
Well, that should do it. Everyone else, drinks on me on Friday!!
Well, to use your own moniker, it may not be 'politically correct', but it's well-written, funny, and clever-as-hell...Cheers to you, Ms. Black Label.
ReplyDeleteThank you Glenlivet on the rocks with a splash of water-I'm glad you checked out the blog:)
ReplyDeleteWow, so much anger.
ReplyDeleteI must agree with the above. You may "sound off" on topics, but perhaps when you do so, you just end up sounding like a bitter and VERY angry person. This just devalues the actual point of your REAL blog and shows that it is skewed to the POV of someone who is pissed about the choices he/she has made with his/her life and is looking for an outlet for these lame opinions. Sorry, but what you may take as intelligent and ruthless straight shooting opinions is just plain worthless dribble.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback. And for the record, I am an relatively angry person, so sounding like one seems appropriate :)
ReplyDeleteI completely disagree. Clearly, this blog has intelligent stuff to say or else why would you be reading it? Sure some of it is pretty blunt, but the blogger is pretty up front that she's not going to sugar coat it for anyone
ReplyDeleteKeep up the GREAT posts
hahaha.. are you kidding me?! "let's be honest.. it wasn't me, it was you." this post is hilarious, and i absolutely can identify. if "anonymous" thinks you have lame opinions, then she/he shouldn't bother reading this blog. it's as simple as that. and let's be honest.."anonymous" is probably so pissy because he/she falls into one of your "f-off" categories! LOVE GenXYZ Project, keep it up little lady! :-)
ReplyDeleteI totally disagree with the comment "worthless dribble"... this blog is CLEARLY not to be taken verbatim-- the author is witty and definitely exaggerates for humorous purposes, but there is always a subtle truth behind her writing. If you aren't intelligent enough to get the satire, then you shouldn't be reading this.
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